So after Monday's explosion things have cooled down again. We had a bit of an issue over night lights and light bulbs. She had thrown her lamp or knocked it off the desk in her room during her outburst Monday and subsequently broke the bulb. The glass is alright, thankfully, but it doesn't light up anymore. She has been leaving her overhead light on all night, against my wishes. Lights tend to promote wakefulness and busy minds don't need any help staying up all night. Her needing the light on and claims of being terrified of the dark has lead to other issues with the toddler wanting his light on too. The man has sided with her and really, it's a light, and not worth the fight. Admittedly, that's much easier to see while not in the throws of an argument.
So her light is on, curtains drawn and I'm annoyed at the wasted energy, lack of privacy and toddler fighting, but she's going to sleep, well, I think she is, I don't hear her or see her so I assume she is. She's much more trustworthy than I give her credit for. She tends to stay in her room at least, and she's been told reading is OK, though she tends to draw too, she has a few dozen comics and short stories she's working on, and following kid logic, it's still a book she's using to keep her busy and quiet.
Some of this can also be excitement; her birthday is Monday, so she's got to be excited and worried she wont get the gift she so desperately wants, a scooter.
It really is a roller coaster of a ride with her. When she's up, she's Queen of the world, but when she's down, there really is no place lower to go, and getting there is scary as hell for everyone aboard the ride.
She has so much promise, and so much to give to this world, and that's not just mom talk. She-hulk though she can be, it's not who she is. She is kind and giving. Twice now she has donated hair to Angel Hair for Kids, she regularly donate clothes and toys she doesn't want anymore. She often tried to rescue animals outside, and gets truly heart broken over the environment and litter. She is creative and draws so beautifully, it makes me jealous, her favorite is manga. If she could have any three wishes in the world, one if for world peace, another her own happiness (and includes her family and friends) and the third is usually money, lol.
If there is ever a kid who deserves the best out of life, it truly is her. Given the hardships she's endured, and likely will, I just pray she learns to get a handle on this and use the tools we've given her. If she can do that, she will go far and she will get the happiness she truly deserves.
Right now, I just hope for sun on her birthday, and we'll take this one day at a time.